


No space to breathe, no hope for dreams

by Susana Rosa (SusanaR)



Series: Desperate Hours Alternative Universe (DH AU) D version [10]
Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-13
Updated: 2011-07-13
Packaged: 2017-10-21 08:24:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SusanaR/pseuds/Susana%20Rosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Denethor came to use the Palantir, and why he continued to do so</p>
            </blockquote>





	No space to breathe, no hope for dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Later parts will contain very quick references to child abuse (of Faramir, by people Denethor trusted to take care of the son he could rarely bear to see).
> 
>  
> 
> Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love.  
> John LeCarre
> 
>  
> 
> (Denethor) "Ever your desire is to appear lordly and generous as a king of old, gracious, gentle. That may well befit one of a high race, if he sits in power and peace. But in desperate hours gentleness may be repaid with death."  
> "So be it," said Faramir. - Dialogue by Tolkien, from ROTK.

Prologue  
Thirteen year old Crown Prince Eldarion, relaxed and tired, smiled at the thought that he was out camping, just he and his father, on mount Mindolluin. Well, and the five guards who were close enough to hear them if they yelled for help, but not close enough to hear them if they talked softly. Then Eldarion frowned, for his older half-brother the Steward had been invited to join them, but had pleaded off.

Aragorn finished telling Eldarion a story of the stars, and paused, "Ion-nin? What is amiss?"

"Ada?" Eldarion asked softly, "Why was Faramir's father Denethor such an arse to him?

Aragorn frowned, and uncertain of how to answer the question, played for time by correcting softly, "I am his father, as I am yours."

Eldarion shook his head, disagreeing, "You're his Adar. Denethor was his father."

The King rolled his eyes at his son's linguistic hair splitting. Then, reaching over to tug gently on a lock of Eldarion's dark wavy hair, Aragorn corrected gently, " I am his father, his Adar, his Atar. Denethor but believed himself to be." Frowning, the King asked, "And what have you heard, Eldarion-my-heart, about the old Steward and Faramir?"

Eldarion squirmed, but answered his father squarely, "I've heard a little. And I've seen the scars, on Faramir. From men his fath...Lord Denethor trusted to take care of him."

Somewhat surprised, Aragorn asked his younger son, "He told you of them?"

Eldarion nodded, quietly answering. "Fara told me some. He said that his father, er, Lord Denethor, blamed him for his mother Finduilas' death, and that Denethor didn't trust himself to discipline Faramir fairly, so he gave Faramir to others to punish, men who Denethor trusted, but who were not as careful as men should be with a young one. It sounded like, well, no offense Ada, it sounded like complete and utter horse crap, to me."

Aragorn nodded, not contesting the pithy phrase in this informal setting, given the seriousness of this topic.

"So, why? Why did Denethor treat Faramir like that?" Eldarion pressed, bewildered anger in his voice.

Aragorn sighed, and put an arm around his beloved younger son and heir, wondering how he could possibly explain something he didn't even understand himself. "It's...a hard question to answer, Eldarion. I was not there when it was happening, and there are many instances that have never been explained to my satisfaction. I was friends with Denethor when he was a younger man, and a good father to the Boromir as a young child. I would never have expected Denethor to treat Faramir as he did. Even if I hadn't known that Faramir was mine, if I'd known had bad things had gotten, I would have had one of Ethiron's men spirit Faramir at least away from that place. Boromir was...always safe with Denethor, at least so far as I ever heard."

Eldarion struggled to understand that. Relaxing against his father's shoulder, the Crown Prince asked, "But, what makes a man go from a good man, to a man...who spurned a child, my older brother, for something that wasn't his fault? Who handed his son over to men he did not truly know, to be beaten until he was scarred for life? Was it just the Palantir, that made Denethor act so awfully at times towards Faramir, as people say?"

Aragorn bent his head to kiss his young son's dark curls, trying again to explain, "He...he had no room to bend, Denethor. No space to breathe. That can drive a man to horrible mistakes, Eldarion-my-heart. Mistakes he can't forgive, which cause him to commit still more. Even without the influence of Sauron over the Palantir. I will tell you of what I know."

Part I

It was agreed even by his enemies that the Lord Steward Denethor of Gondor was a man of great will, foresight, and strength. He was also said to be a man who did not appeal to his friends, or to his enemies, or to anyone, really. Like all men, Denethor was not created in a vacuum. It was true that he alone made the choices that led him to his end. But it could perhaps be said that Denethor had sacrificed his childhood, and his youth, for Gondor, and that this beginning left him with little room in his heart to trust in the unknown or the humble. And a humble unknown was the hand that Gandalf the Wizard chose to play against Sauron, the hand that won. Not a great elven lord, nor a King of men, but a hobbit of the shire, and his friend. Denethor had scoffed at Gandalf's mad plan for a child's fairy tale.

Most children are told fairy stories, or other happy tales when their parents tuck them into bed for the night. Denethor, as the son of Ecthelion the Steward of Gondor, one of the last scions of the House of Hurin, was told that they must hold out against Mordor, no matter the cost. There was no King, but the House of the Stewards would stand in his place, protecting the land of Gondor. The young Denethor's life was focused entirely on training to be the strong warrior and cunning commander who could continue to hold Gondor as humanity's bulwark against the dark one. There was space for nothing else; no childhood games, no pranks. Denethor was his father's only son, and he had no choice but to commit his life to the Stewards' crusade.

 

Ecthelion was a loving father, if a stern one. But he was also a man obsessed with keeping Gondor whole, with keeping the vestiges of ancient Westernesse's culture and heritage intact. Ecthelion taught his son that there was no time for anything but their on-going struggle. Denethor was an obedient child, and though he at times felt the lure of other interests, he always reapplied himself to his studies of sword and governance. Flexibility and creativity are learned in play; and there was no space or time for the scion of a land under war to play. In time, Denethor came to accept that, and to embrace his fate. Gondor and Minas Tirith would not fall on Denethor's watch, of that he would make sure. It was the most important thing in Denethor's world, and the only constant in his young life. At least until he met Thorongil, and wed Finduilas, and found that there was more to life than he had ever before thought.

 

Denethor graduated first in his class from Gondor's military academy when he was eighteen. He found his first posting difficult. Due to his father's influence, Denethor began his military career as a lieutenant. Yet Denethor had known all of the captains of Gondor as guests in his father's house, and did not hesitate to tell them when he thought their strategies sub-optimal. The worst thing about young Denethor from the perspective of the captains of Gondor, was that he was usually right.

In time, Denethor became a Captain of Gondor, but he still spent almost all of his free time in further training, or discussing strategy with the small group of other Lords, Captains and lieutenants of Gondor who could look past his sometimes harsh personality to the brilliant tactician beneath. One of these was the Prince Adrahil of Dol Amroth, who remembered having been rather a difficult young man himself, though in different ways. On a trip for his father to Dol Amroth, Denethor was looking forward to discussing a realignment of forces along the borders with Adrahil. But then he met Finduilas, daughter of Adrahil, and his life changed forever.

Denethor was enchanted by Finduilas. From the first moment he saw her, gold-red hair set a-gleaming by the the sun setting over her father's castle, he fell deeply in love with her. Denethor was determined to marry her if she would have him, even though Finduilas was far from the norm of what a soldier's wife should be, in Denethor's opinion. Finduilas was not pragmatic, and she often spoke of things which Denethor did not believe in, as if they were undoubtedly real. Denethor had a hard time seeing Finduilas for the weapon that her Dol Amroth family was aware her unusually clear foresight could be, for he loved her as a woman. Denethor, for all he was a canny warrior and general, lacked an inherent flexibility. It could have been in part the fault of his upbringing, but he had a hard time seeing Finduilas' gift, and Gandalf's assistance, as possible help for Gondor rather than an amusing diversion. In time, this would grow to be a source of tension between Denethor and his dear friend Thorongil, and even between Denethor and his father Ecthelion, who was eventually persuaded to Thorongil's point of view on the question of Gandalf.

Loving Finduilas, and asking for her hand in marriage, was the first thing Denethor had ever done for himself in his life of duty. The Steward Ecthelion was pleased with the match, for Finduilas came of excellent lineage, and he thought she might produce sons with her father's strategic military genius. Adrahil was not as pleased, but he made very clear to Denethor that his disapproval was not for Denethor personally, but for his desire to keep his daughter safe. Denethor understood some of why Finduilas' father might be so protective, and promised to guard the Sea-fox's daughter well in the White City. Adrahil was not entirely satisfied, but he agreed to the betrothal. Gandalf the Wizard, who had introduced Finduilas to Denethor, seemed almost smug about the betrothal. Denethor had never been able to entirely trust Gandalf, as he could not always read the truth in the Wizard's eyes as he was accustomed to doing with all others. Denethor could not conceive that the Wizard might have secrets which would not harm Gondor's interests, but were yet not properly something he might tell the Steward's heir. To Denethor, Mordor's only opponent was Gondor.

 

Denethor's older sisters were not overjoyed with his impending marriage to Finduilas. The younger daughter of Prince Adrahil was barely twenty, not even half their brother's age, and Dol Amroth was practically its own country, despite its titular obedience to Gondor. The sisters did not approve of the line of the Stewards being diluted by a foreigner who, when visiting Minas Tirith as a child, had caused a stir by saying that she saw ghosts, and by absentmindedly mentioning that a certain young page of supposed common birth was, in fact, a son of the Lord of the Green Hills. It had caused quite a scandal. Denethor's sisters loved their stern, practical brother, but thought, in their secret hearts, that it might be better that one of their sons inherit, rather than the son of a mad woman. As they came to know Finduilas, who was so kind to their sons, their opinion of her did improve, at least marginally. Denethor's nephews were more of an age with his brother-by-law Imrahil, most of them several years older. By the time Faramir was born, all of Ecthelion's grandchildren were dead, save Boromir and his new-born brother. It was as if a curse had fallen on the houses of Gondor's great Lords, for so many of their sons fell in battle, or suffered strange accidents, despite the increased vigilance of Gondor's soldiers.

Denethor had spent his whole life in a country under siege. He had never been allowed to be a child, and the bleakness of that background at times warped his understanding of life. Ecthelion the Steward did not realize the wrong he had done his child until Thorongil, so similar yet so different to Denethor, later did his best to teach Denethor how to enjoy himself. Looking back, Denethor realized that before Thronongil came to Minas Tirith, he had never really relaxed and just enjoyed a walk through the city. Being grateful to Thorongil for teaching him to see Minas Tirith with new eyes helped dispel his hurt at Gandalf's murmured suggestion that perhaps Denethor should wed the more practical bride he had originally intended, and let Finduilas wed Thorongil. Denethor greatly resented this suggestion, and his distrust of the Wizard hardened. It was hard to resent Thorongil, especially because Denethor's drunken confession that he feared Thorongil might steal his bride produced a disbelieving, horrified refusal. Thorongil swore that he would never dream of taking a woman who was his friend Denethor's intended. Thorongil further confessed to Denethor in the utmost confidence that he had already fallen in love with a lady, so deeply in love, though he feared he could never prove himself worthy of her, in her father's eyes. Seeing Thornogil's respect for him, and sadness at his own estrangement from his lady's father, Denethor forgave Thornogil for being an unwitting temporary obstacle in his wooing of Finduilas. Though he never forgot it.


End file.
